As proctor at Mudd, one of the things I supply to my dorm is candy and condoms. For most dorms, that’s about an equal split – you’ll have to check each respective bowl every week or two for refills.

My dorm is special.

I just spent the past hour scouring Target, Wal-Mart, and Vons in search of leftover Easter candy I could get for cheap, to satiate my dorm’s candy addicition. This semester alone, I think I’ve bought $200 worth of candy. That’s a lot for 75 people, especially when less than half of them actually bother to eat any of it.

And in the meantime, I haven’t needed to refill the proctor condom bowl more than once this entire semester.